Old friends make you wonder.

Work it make it do it makes us harder better faster stronger.

Is college weird? Is our whole education system weird? Think about it.

Age 5, at the latest: kids are put into a class to learn "social skills," how to listen to teachers, and how to share. They snack, play with toys, and count numbers. If they are lucky, they will be with the same group of 30-50 kids for the next 6 years, and form some sense of companionship.

Age 11, perhaps: the same kids might move onto a middle school, and have several classes every day, be segmented into class groups, and play school sports. If they're lucky in this circumstance, their good friends will have carried over into the same student body. If they're lucky, the class won't have begun to split along the lines of cliques...yet.

Age 15, or thereabouts, most likely: our "young adults" have shifted into a new space, high school, that's the real deal. Depending on your circumstance, you'll be with the same group of people you've been with since grade K, or you'll be with a whole new group of people, or you'll be with an unholy amalgamation of people, some of whom you know, some not. I've used the word "lucky" pretty loosely in these descriptions, I have no right to deem any path as more lucky than another, but I thought I would anyway.

[Speaking of, do you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that it costs a lot - a lot of money to go to public school. At least it does everywhere I've seen.]

Age 18, hopefully: if a kid is lucky - and I will use "lucky" here because I believe it with all my heart - they will get to do whatever they want to at this age. If they want to attend a university, they are lucky if they get to. But think about what happens when they do? They get a great opportunity, but who do they get to experience it with? New people - a great opportunity in that, too, but what happens to old friends?

I had a friend, his name was Johnathan Barnett. The fact that I just used the word "had" should tell you something.

We were as much friends as friends could be, in some sense, I believe. I suppose we really got to know each other..when? I can't even really remember. Early on. But middle school - that's 6th through 8th grade - those were the wonder years. Walker's Icy World on Center Point Parkway. CVS Pharmacy and Civitan Park on the way. Fireworks, pounds of fireworks in the street. Hours of billiards, Marvel vs. Capcom II on the Sega Dreamcast, and what else even? It's all a dear memory in my head, yet its so hard to flesh out the details - and I don't even want to, because its all there as it needs to be.

Then we went to high school, together, and it was pretty good.

Then we went to different high schools.

Are we still friends? I like to think so. But I can't honestly say if I am doing him or either of us an injustice in saying that or not. I don't know if its ever comfortable when we talk, even though I really always hope it is, and try to make it so. Do we really know that much about it either?

We didn't get to open up to one another about what came around in high school, did we?
Am I stupid for worrying about it?

This evening, I got a call from Owen Kidd and he told me that Stephanie Broome was here, wondering if I was anywhere around. I popped over and saw him, her, and Brian Jones. They are all friends or former friends or acquaintances of mine. I don't know why I'm so specific - they're friends. I can hardly even remember how long its been since I first met Stephanie. It was elementary school.

We've always been friends.

The first thing she said to me was "It's been a long, long time."
Yeah, it really had. I don't even know if I could quantify the time it had been, has been since we'd talked much at all. I don't know the extent to which I would have sought out keeping up with her more than I already had before tonight.

I've told a lot of people that are close to me that I'm always weary of seeing people that I hadn't seen since middle school out in restaurants, or at stores, or just on the road. Because do you really miss them? Have you really missed them?

It wasn't at all the same at night, but part of what hooked me was that I felt like Stephanie was actually sore for it to have been so long. To have missed what once was, even if it barely was in the first place. She was always a great friend, however much of a friend she ever was, which in the scale of things probably wasn't much.

To be honest with you, maybe that's why we stayed friends. Because we stayed around. We were "lucky" (reference "lucky" above) to know each other all the way through high school.
I'm not really sad. We chatted a bit about the typical "I haven't seen you in a while" things, and then we were just there, and then we parted our ways as she went on a tour of campus with Brian and her boyfriend.

And then I came home and blogged and was happy for the friends I have to make memories with now. I was happy for the girlfriend I can confide in, prod my mind open with, and hold on to. I was happy for the mind I have been given to think about these sorts of things with.

And I wondered about friends of old. I didn't draw the lines between everything that deserved to be connected in this little blurb, but I didn't figure I needed to either. Everyone's been there.

Or maybe we still are.

Where In The $#@! Is Carmen Sandiego?

Isn't that what we all want to know?
I remember a few years ago, it wasn't very many, when The Chief died. From the "...Carmen Sandiego" television series, that is. I hear she was on many, many things, and I feel certain I've seen her in other roles, but I'd never remember her as anyone else. I'd never care to. It's not really the same with Lawrence Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis, but that might just be in light of only having seen "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" in seriousness in the past couple of years. It's not even his role as Morpheus. It's...I don't really even know.
She was The Chief.
It was funny to me that you never knew what you looked like - maybe that's because you were actually, for once, just supposed to be you instead of you as someone. But everyone knew what The Chief looked like, even if only her torso or head. She was always on screen. She gave you your leads. She told you what was up, what was down.
I never found Carmen Sandiego. I played "Where In The USA..." and "Where In The World...," both care of Broderbund, on our old, old Packard Bell PC. I played them both a lot. A whole lot. However, the closest I ever got to her was being in the same city at the same time, but then one of those cronies would take the heat, easy. I can't say I hated it though. What would it have been like if you'd found Carmen Sandiego? Sure, she would have busted out of jail in short time, and put you right back on the chase, but would it be the same? I don't think so. You never knew, you never knew who was going to be in which city, and what seemingly insignificant description you'd have to rely on to suddenly pull an entire flight map out of the blue. It didn't really make sense, but it didn't have to. That was the point, you wanted to catch Carmen Sandiego, because she kept stealing the most ludicrous things, and no one knew where in the world she was, but did you really? Or did you just want to keep chasing until you knew everything else there was to know aside from where she was always hiding, or what you could do to catch her once and for all?
That's a good question.
Lynne Thigpen died at 54 almost 5 years ago now. A brain hemorrhage killed her.
I am not depressing. People die all the time. She was The Chief, though. ACME Detective Agency.

If you know me, you're probably thinking that this is all some really drawn out, elaborate allegory for the human interaction with the great ideas and truths of the universe, our place in the grand scheme of things, our continuing uncertainty as far as what we are supposed to do or know, or just...well, if you were to think that, you'd probably catch it all. If you knew me, you might think that.
You might not be wrong, but as far as I know, I'm just talking about Carmen Sandiego.

The Way I See It #1

I'm pretty sure "The Way I See It #n" is copyrighted by SBUX, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a blog is not a commercial venue, or anything of the like.

The way I see it, no god (or God, or Allah, or YHWH, or whatever) exists. There is no god. There is no need for religion. I do not think religion is inherently a bad thing; rather, I think the positives can easily outweigh the negatives. However, I believe religion is an accessory thing, and if one is seeking a simplified, "true" life, then they must do without it, or no, they must simply recognize this fact.

The way I see it, our universe is at hand. And on the macrocosm, we, as known humanity, are a wholly insignificant fraction of a greater whole, an immeasurable whole. Fact of the matter is, we don't live on the macrocosm. The "universe" we inhabit is just as relatively insignificant as we are. But around here? We're kind of a big deal.

I've never really understood people who feel the need to stress the insignificance of humanity and life with everything they say. It has always sounded to me like each is merely trying to rationalize their lack of care...about anything. That's fine by me, it's not my prerogative to try and turn your life into something it isn't. But I am of the opinion that since humanity is a pretty self encompassing entity, and since we are pretty much the top dogs (aside from the occasional tiger, alligator, sting ray, snake, spider, or tiny virus) around, we deserve to be contemplated, to be valued, to be bet against the rest of the universe.

The way I see it, Darwin hit the jackpot. Everything I see around me, every thought about life, about the universe, about our purpose - I believe it can be examined very thoroughly and appropriately against the backdrops of evolution and natural selection. This is why the universe (or at least our universe) exists as it does now (perhaps finally). This is why there is no need to create some man in the sky to be a creator. The existence of everything we know, as we know it, to me just makes sense.

The way I see it, what might exist in the universe that transcends our own existence, what is unreachable, what lies in the dust of nebulae just the same as the strings in our hearts is no god, is no inexplicable entity. It is merely a force, a body, an ether even, if you will, that we have yet to appropriately classify. It may well be the very nature of this substance or value to remain unclassifiable. I say substance to expose a commonality to all things. I say value because this tentative truth might like closer to the solution of the grand unified theory than even I might expect.

The way I see it, what exists instead of any god is this matter, this force. This force makes the planets orbit in anything near circles. It makes all bodies approach "perfection" in the form of spheres. It made this "random" world around us. It accounts for our cognition, limited might it be.

The way I see it, there is obviously something profoundly impossible to comprehend about our cognition, our consciousness as human beings. I would approach considering it via solipsism, being unable to comprehend the means of our very comprehension being paradoxical, but I feel it unnecessary. Rather, our bodies, our complex nervous systems are the end product of evolution towards life able to tap "directly" into this force, this substance, this reason.

Now you might see. The very reason we achieve comes from this "gods" nature as pure reason, as sense, as order. As humans, homo sapien sapiens I should say, we have evolved to this point and are now able to connect with this "force" at a most open level. No longer are we the fruit of a gardener's hidden labor, we are the end result of a construction with the blueprints fueling our thoughts even now.

The way I see it, we see all that we need or ever will need to see. Gravity is invisible to us itself, yet we embrace its existence to vast and necessary end. So to is our "god," the universe's essence, yet every thought we ponder is but a manifestation of this reason, ever searching, driving to take the next step forward.